Back To School

Hey Guys,

I'm sitting here this Monday morning enjoying a cup of white tea out of my favorite Wendy Williams mug (wishing it was chai tea) and I began to get the butterflies. No it's not the tea giving me the shakes, its the thought of DUN-DUN-DUN "Back to School" AHHHHHHH. Where do I begin? I'm not so much as worried about material items as I am worried about all three of us being in school full time. My poor hubby, fall schedules always bring a bit of welcomed chaos into the household. Oh well, he'll adjust in time. Enough about him, what about us? The best thing I can do is just jump in and get er done right? Curses to my damn need for planning and near inability to go with the flow!

Everything is different this year, new neighborhood, longer commute, the teen shall socialize and attend clubs and sports after school, the boy-child will be in the 4th freaking grade and I start my semester off with speech classes. Did you hear me? SPEECH CLASSES! what in the Sam hell was I thinking? As much as I love to talk I really don't like to "speak" lol. I had a job once where I had to give a presentation to like 300 students twice a year and that was terrifying in itself. The fear subsided once I got the ball rolling BUT only because it was pretty much instructions to them in black and white. All pre written information from my employer to the students. This on the other hand is me!!!! all me, my words, my actions and my fear! Oh and the worst part, are you ready? It has to be on Youtube!

This will definitely be an interesting school year for us and all of you are going along for the ride! Amidst all of this I've been searching and searching for a part-time job. Hey Baltimore, where are the decent part-time jobs? Not only will this year be chaotic it's gonna be darn expensive too! I have a junior in high school. Urgh the thought of the expenses got me all clinched up lol. We have prom, dues, fees, trips, rings and the list continues. Either way it's gotta get done and it will!

To sum it up, my fear isn't really in the change its in the adjustment. I like everything redundant and boring, no spur of the moment here guys! I guess this year changes it all huh? One thing I can not give up is my trusty day planner, I would truly feel like I am entering this journey "naked and afraid." Welp, back to my tea, prepping my planner and my thoughts now, until next time!

-Sheli

Frazzled

Hey Guys,

A good friend and I were talking the other day and we got on the subject of losing yourself. It was odd because we have been friends for a long time and talk on a regular basis, however neither of us knew that the other was completely lost at one point. Hell, I am still a bit lost if you ask me. I am sure you have been there as well, kinda like going through the motions of the day to day not really having a sense of fulfillment. It could be short or long term, however, at some point I am sure you said to yourself "I have got to do better" I am interested in knowing exactly what did you do at that point in time?

What did I do? I did absolutely nothing. I actually fell into a fit of light depression and uncertainty. I was pretty much faced with the decision to continue to slave away with no advancement in sight or stand up for myself and at least have a bit of dignity in a dead end situation. Thankfully the lord saw fit to see me out of that horrible, horrible position. I have to admit, it was a bit rocky at first I wasn't really sure what to expect with this new found freedom! Thankfully I had certain responsibilities that took up the majority of my time.

Now here I am, here we are....... my thumbs are twiddling and my nerves are bad. I read somewhere that I should make a list of my goals and priorities and take it one day at a time. Well umm, how can I say in the nicest way possible that umm, that is pure bullshit to me! The idea of a list is in fact good but really, I mean really this is not Sheli in a perfect world just running around checking off accomplishments, reaching goals and doing the damn thing uninterrupted. I guess I will have to admit here that I am not exactly sure how to juggle things. Heck, I am not even sure how I made it this far without a complete breakdown.

So I shall leave you all with this picture, it absolutely personifies exactly how I am feeling right now. Help me gods of organization and self made deadlines!!!!!!